jediteaparty:

arauj0:

aangnog:

i just realized that “never” is a contraction of “not ever”

 and “blush” is a contraction of “blood rush”

also “studying” is a contraction of “student dying”

594,302 notes | 10 hours ago | from | originally

dogwithhat:

My brothers toothbrushes over the past month
Why is he so angry

354,083 notes | 10 hours ago | from | originally

snorlaxatives:

i love when strangers smile at me and i smile back and we have that nice stranger smiling moment

194,893 notes | 10 hours ago | from | originally
105,965 notes | 19 hours ago | from | originally

radioactivemongoose:

at my 16th birthday party my friend john accidentally flashed one of his balls and i remember it in vivid color & detail like sometimes i forget the faces of loved ones but that single nut haunts me. one time i fell in a ditch and i kept sabotaging myself like “what if the last thing i think of before i die is john’s nut” like i wasn’t actually gonna die but these are the kinds of things you consider when you fall in a ditch. john’s nut

142,067 notes | 19 hours ago | from | originally
darthjader:

I think vladamir putin looks like max from max & ruby

darthjader:

I think vladamir putin looks like max from max & ruby

129,788 notes | 19 hours ago | from | originally
singingsh0wtunes:

subway sure doesn’t mess around when it comes to puns

singingsh0wtunes:

subway sure doesn’t mess around when it comes to puns

255,173 notes | 19 hours ago | from | originally
129,936 notes | 1 day ago | from | originally
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147,246 notes | 1 day ago | from | originally
impossiblycastiel:

Steal Her Look: Dancing Emoji
Marchesa silk gazar gown ($6,950)
Casadei pumps ($1,300)

impossiblycastiel:

Steal Her Look: Dancing Emoji


Marchesa silk gazar gown ($6,950)

Casadei pumps ($1,300)

63,122 notes | 1 day ago | from | originally

riveralwaysknew:

ok but can can we appreciate who the real drama queen is

61,140 notes | 1 day ago | from | originally

roryink:

nerdiegirlie:

when they were prepping me for the surgery the nurse put one of those cloth hats over my head to keep the hair out of my face

she said “here’s your party hat”

and i was already trippin balls so I said 

"yaAAY paaaarty"

and wiggled around on the table like a gleeful slug

i think about this post sometimes and it makes me grin like a dope

256,531 notes | 1 day ago | from | originally
supersmashkev:

watermellyn:

comedic gold

this honestly just made my day

supersmashkev:

watermellyn:

comedic gold

this honestly just made my day

131,673 notes | 1 day ago | from | originally